The fourth test

Wow! I am almost at the end of the semester. Originally when I started this blog I intended to write every week or even multiple times a week, but then life got in the way.

So, now I am in the process of giving my fourth test and so I have a few minutes free to type up my thoughts.

This semester has been a complete whirlwind of emotions. I love it; I feel overwhelemed; I think I am not doing a good job; i think I have done a good job; I want to quit; I want to make this my career.

Many of my friends and family have asked will I do this again. I keep going back and forth. My students are asking me to teach a different required class next semester so that they can take me again. The guilt of dissapointing them is what will probably push me to continue on in this quest.

People (including my students) are telling me I have been doing a good job but I am not conviced. I sometimes listen to myself as I try to explain certain things and I realize that I am not always doing a good job. I guess the final will be the real test. It is a departmental final which means I will get a sense how I did compared to all the other teachers of this material. If my students do well then maybe I was able to get through and teach them something.

What I have realized it that most of my job isnt the actual teaching of my syllabus; most of my job has been the task of dealing with the emotional feelings and fears my students have towards the topic I am teaching.

I got a really good class. All my students are responsible adults. Most have jobs and families and they arent afraid to work hard. None of them are stupid and all are capable of learning the material. All in all they have good attitudes and that really makes a huge difference in my ability to teach them.

Well I better get back to proctoring the exam